...i'm a big shit in your thought...

-crying-

"...."

Please stop asking me about it....
Its hurt when they asked me...
Its hurt when i need to tell you...
Its hurt to be in the middle...
Its hurt to pretend like nothing happened...
Its hurt to lie that its ok...
Tired of waiting...
Bye....

Tomorrow

Assalamualaikum.

When you look through the window, imagine there is no more tomorrow..how many sins have you made. Do you think Allah will forgive us in one night? I know “Allah itu Maha Pengampun”. But I myself don’t know how sincere I am when I performed my repent prayer. How much price the tears that come through my eyes. Sometimes I realize that I would make the same mistake again.

Sometimes I look into myself. Yes, cover my awrah is easy. But to cover them completely is so not easy.. even the simplest thing also I can’t change it, how I want to change my whole life. When I go through all my clothes I fell like to burn them all. But then when I look any beautiful women wearing stylish cloth I struggle with my own desire. Oh Allah, put me in the right path. Strengthen my iman… I heard story that a women that doesn’t cover her leg with socks and her hand, she got burned on her leg and hand for her “grave punishment”. I keep haunted with that moment. I don’t want my grave full with fire.. full with snakes…I don’t want to die without saying syahadah. I scared driving cars. That’s the fact. I pronounce shahadah whenever I went into the car. Let me die in other way not in accident..please Allah =( I heard story of your tongue will freeze during your sakaratulmaut if you ignore azan.. that’s what we always did right…so much sins =(

“dosa-dosa ku bagaikan pepasir di pantai” that’s hurt me =( let me die as a great muslimah a solehah daughter for ayah & emak a good sibling a great friends a best companions. Last dream…give me chance to be a great wife. Because a good wife is easily to enter your Jannah…then you can take me away…..huhuhu…

sweet evening

i got new hobby!!

which can make me smile after a long day at work..

one day, time tgh tunggu my sis kt klcc,

i was standing at the middle klcc at level 1..

tgk org ramai jalan2 kat bawah...

what pleased me so much was..

tgk couple (husband and wife) walk together..

with their office attire, still..

holding hand..smiling to each other..

there is no tired faces..

when suddenly i smile by myself alone...

what a lovely people here..

they didnt care crowdness around them..

didnt remember their work matter..

it just like everything is over when with their spouse..

some of them holding hands..some of them hug her husband, or his wife..

and there is a couple smell his husband shirt..and laugh together..haha

i see me in them one day..

inshaAllah =)

job + family + love = future

susahnye nak buat keputusan

lebih2 lagi when its about our future..

makin bnyk umur..makin bnyk keputusan yg kene bt sendiri..

whether u like it or not, u have to decide..

kan sng jd bdk2..semua ikt je mak ayah kata..

tp kalau dh besar pon kene ikt je ckp mak ayah fade up jgk kan..

dh dewasa kononnye..=p

tapi ape pon, its depends on yourself..

when u dont like it, u have to argue!

dah besar katanyee..huhu

but..is it true i can make my own decision now??? =(

~job~

masuk hr ni dh 3 interview aku pergi..

mcm2 org aku jumpa..

3 3 interviewer lain2 perangai..

so ape yg dpt belajar setakat ni, dont aspect any spot question

well, mcm exam jgk..we never know..

ade yg nk taw pasal my leisure time, ade nk taw pasal family, ade jgk nk taw pasal ekonomi.

damn! aku tk stdy lama dah..huhu

kawan2..doakan aku dpt keje..so much thing in my head..

so much thing i want to do..

utk ayah, mak, family..n my future family =p

huhu..life never get easier..

its getting harder and harder..

so, pesan utk adik2..blaja rjn2..blaja la pasal dunia..ape yg berlaku keliling kite..

kene bace paper slalu la nmpknye ok! =)

~rindu~

seryes aku rindu nk balik rumah

here never same like home..

tk sempat aku nk lepak2 lama2 kt rmh mcm member2 lain..

huhu seminggu je hr tu..dh kene "halau"

rindu nk masak2 dgn mak..smbg2 dgn mak..

hmmmm..tkpela..cari la rezeki dr menghabiskan beras kr rumah tu T.T

seryes...saya rindu kamu jgk :'(

im here without u..

but u still in my lonely night..huhu

all the memories past my mind..every moments..

hope u know what im doing now is also for us..

i really hopee we can adapt with the changes..

this picture brings smiles to me..

thanks 4 everything..thanks for the moments..

really mean it =)

entah

terperok sedih..menangis pilu..

namun tak siapa dgr hatiku...

ku punya ayah ku punya ibu..

tp hatiku diam lidah terkelu..

ku punya kakak ku punya abang..

namun tk siapa mendengar aku...

sayuu....

seperti patung di hias2...

diarahkan kanan dan kiri...

hatiku perit siapa peduli???

tidak ku pinta lahir begini..

punya kekurangan sana dan sini..

bebankan mereka itu dan ini...

itu tk terbitkan senyum ku ini...

ini kah harga harus ku bayar..

atas semua kekurangan ku??

jika itu yg kau mahu..ku terima semua..

hati itu ku jaga..yg itu juga ku cuba jg...

tp hati ku, ku biar sepah..

membusuk sepi tnpa di jaga..

ku menangis juga tk siapa tahu..

tk siapa pun melihat...

bawa ku pergi dr semua ini..

tunjukkan aku bahagia..

jika di hadapan nnti ada bahagia...

ku rela begini walau betahun2 harus ku terima..

*entah puisi apa =(

kepadaNya kembali

hari ni sorg daripada kawn fb aku dah meninggal dunia..

even aku tk pernah kenal die tp ade jgk la bau2 kawan tu..

she's soooo pretty...mcm model..

bf die kawan kpd kawan aku yg aku dh tk contact la ni...ada la jgk tu bau2 kawan..huhu

bila jd perkara2 mcm ni..buat aku tersedar..

aku still ade kawan2, org2 yg aku syg kt dunia ni..

semua sihat walafiat..maka aku kene hargai..sebelum mereka tinggalkan aku

atau aku tinggalkan diorg..

ajal dan maut tu tk berbau..tk bg alarm kdg2..

kalau ade slh seorg drpd mereka tinggalkan kite..

mesti kite akan fkr..bila last kite ckp dgn die..ade tak kite terkuat suara..

termarah tk tentu hala...

tertengking tk semena...

takkan semua nk tunggu raya...kita khilaf..

kadang2 kite tk sedar...ape yg kite ckp tu bt org lain sedih..

org lain menangis.dan terasa sampai jiwa..

hati org tk sama..ade yg lembut..ada yg keras..ade yg tkde perasaan..

kdg2 kite selalu pendam..

bende yg kite nk ckp..tp tk tercakap..

sampai 1 saat dh tk sempat..menyesal pon tk guna..

berbalik pada kawan aku tu..

nama die rania..

akhir2 hayat die aku tgk die sempat bahagia.

akhir2 hyt die, die jumpa lelaki yg blh membahagiakan dia..

die blh rasa cinta..

akhir2 hyt die, die sempat menjengah ke kota mekah..

rania ni seorg yg cantik..

tp Allah bagi die ujian dgn kesakitan..

semoga die ditempatkan dlm golongan org2 yg beriman

p/s: kdg2 tk perlukan kata2 utk memahami sesuatu